Cardinal Meadows. Episode 4

“OOOOH free coffee, aren’t we special. Hey, Cindy, who’s this guy anyway? Your new boyfriend?”

Gen 28:16 And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely the LORD is in this place; and I knew it not.

Dimples of light floated above my head. The light dew clinging to the ground and the cool dampness hanging in the air urged me deeper into my sleeping bag where I slept for at least another hour. I felt whole. I couldn’t remember ever sleeping so well. I was used to tossing and turning through most nights. I don’t think I’d budged an inch. I’d told God that if I could finally sleep through an entire night that I would stay another day. Instead of dragging out of bed like usual, it felt good to get up. I rolled up my sleeping bag and tarpaulin and put them in my hatchback. I remember mornings like this when I was a kid staying at my grandparents farm in upstate PA. Those were the best summers of my life. Grandpa and I started early, feeding and watering the animals, doing chores and then coming in for breakfast. The morning feast would sit steaming from the serving dishes until Grandpa finished reading to us aloud from the Bible. Everyone in the family thought he was a religious kook. But he’s the one who prayed me to Jesus. Though I hadn’t been listening much over the last couple of years, (and I hated to admit it) but maybe this place was in God’s plan after all. In retrospect, if I kept my eyes closed to the mess, perhaps there was a chance that all this would work out. The morning air and thoughts of those farm breakfasts made me hungry. I scanned the front dash of my car looking for my bag of trail mix. Unfortunately it had fallen over and was hanging precariously between my front seats. Most of its contents had scattered between the seats and across my floor mat. I was hungry. But dirty trail mix? It wasn’t like I’d been in a plane crash in the Andes, and was in survival mode. However, if I were careful not to knock it over, I could still retrieve the small handful in the corner of the bag. It wouldn’t be enough for breakfast, but it was enough for the moment.

So what now? Leaning against the car, I emptied the rest of the bag into my mouth. My eyes kept wandering towards the porch and the open front door. I tried to convince myself that there was nothing to worry about, but empty houses are really creepy (especially in the movies) and especially when you’re alone. I made my decision. I’d walk up onto the covered porch and peek in, but that was all. Starting up the stairs, I gave the first step a light foot, (just in case). It was sound. They were all sound. The landing gave an unsettling deep squeak, but I was already there. I stood in front of the open door. The hazy morning light, coming through the window openings wasn’t enough to see any details.

What I could see was up close. There was a lot of trash covering the front entry. There seemed to be some unopened mail mixed in with the rubbish. Hmm. I had been wondering who might have lived here. I took a single step inside and pawed through the debris. I picked up a few pieces. Junk mail. The envelopes were covered with dirt. I wiped one off on my pants. It was addressed to- C. Meyer or Current Resident. C.? Maybe the C. stood for Charles. Of course it could have been a woman in which case it could just as easily have been Claire? No way of knowing. I stuffed a couple of envelopes into my back pocket and dusted off the rest. From the corner of my eye I saw a manila envelope sticking out from under some dirty clothing. Maybe this would give a clue. As I took a couple of steps into the shadows, a blur of fluttering wings rose up across my face and out the broken window to my left. It scared the living daylights out of me. I ran for the door and didn’t bother to take the stairs as I took the running leap off the porch. I put my hands out in front of me which stopped me from crashing into the car. My heart was beating like a playing card fanning the spokes of a bicycle. Darn it. I should have known better than to go in there. I sat on the hood trying to catch my breath. I’d be a fool ever to step foot in there again! Within moments I felt a light achy drum beat against my temples. Maybe it was from the Adrenalin rush. No, I knew this pain. Caffeine withdrawal. Before last evening I hadn’t been able to sleep through a single night. I was used to having a couple of cups of coffee just to start the day, and I hadn’t had anything to drink with caffeine in it for over a day now. I certainly wasn’t prepared for this. Even in our small town back home, there was a Starbucks. But here in Cardinal Meadows? Maybe I could get a Coke or something at that store.

By the time I arrived, it was a little before nine o’clock. Closed. There was a dusty red crew-cab truck parked around the back. I figured it must belong to the owner. I walked up the long wheel chair ramp to the door. There was a hand written sign hanging from a string on the inside of the window “Open @9A.M. or there bouts”. It seemed to me that nine A.M. was a little late to open a store but as I peeked through the glass, I saw movement. It was the blonde I’d seen the day before. She was standing barefoot on a stool, loading packs of cigarettes into an overhead dispenser. On tip toes she looked tall even without the stool. She was wearing a long skirt, but it was hard not to notice her shapely legs as she leaned up to stock the shelves. She stepped down off the stool and looked in my direction. I ducked back hoping that she hadn’t seen me watching her. She came over to the door and pushed the sign aside and spoke through the glass. “Five minutes.” She started back to where she was working but suddenly turned around and came back to the window.

“And by the way, it’s not nice to stare…what were you hoping to see anyway?” She turned and went back to unloading cigarette cartons.

Busted. Damn. I started back to my car. I was completely embarrassed. I got in and had just started the car when the door to the store opened and the blonde stepped out. She waved at me to come in. I didn’t know what to do. Why was she waving me in? Was it so that she could chew me out? She must have noticed my apprehension.

She called to me, “Come on in, were open now.”

I was stuck. Which would be more rude, staying or leaving? There was no place else to go. I shut off ignition, got out and made my way up to the door. I ducked in and made down the first isle to where the coolers were. Maybe I could get out of here without saying much of anything. They didn’t have much of a selection. As a matter of fact they had no Cola selection. There were cases of warm soda waiting to be unloaded into the empty cold cases. Just my luck. I started back the way I came, hoping to duck back out. The woman came out from behind the counter.

“Hey, you’re the guy from yesterday. Did you find your place?”

“Ya, thanks I did.” Still feeling the sting of embarrassment, I didn’t want to start a conversation.

“Was it torn down?”

“ No. But it’s in pretty bad shape.”

“Too bad. Kids have been using the property for a party place, ever since the old widow woman that lived there died. Trashed? Sorry to hear that."

She thoughtfully changed the subject. “Sorry about the sodas. The owner usually comes in early to stock the cases.”

“No, problem. I just needed some caffeine. I’ll come back later.” As I was heading for the door, she stopped me.

“Wait!”

“Excuse me?”

“How about a cup of coffee? I mean I probably owe you a cup after scaring you earlier. I didn’t know it was you. We’ve got a few weirdos around here.”

Well that was a relief, at least I was off ‘the weirdo list’. “Sure, thanks, I could really use a cup.”

“The pot’s at the end of the counter next to the bread rack, help yourself.”

It was then that I noticed her smile. Even with the “partial” that replaced her missing teeth, it was beautiful. Her smile transformed her. I thought I should at least offer to pay for what I was taking. “You sure I can’t pay for it?”

“Gee, most everyone around here tries to sweet talk me out of a cup of my coffee. I keep telling Ed that we should start selling it, but he doesn’t listen much.” She continued. “So, what’s your name?”

I reached to shake her hand, but hers were full of cigarette packs. “Leonard. Leonard Sommers”

“We can shake later Leonard, go ahead and pour yourself a cup.”

I was mixing in sugar that was kept in a Mason jar when the door opened and some construction workers walked in. They headed for the cooler and retrieved a 12 pack of beer. Before they made it to the counter, several more people walked in. The place was filling up fast, and it seemed most everyone knew one another. I wanted to wait to thank her, but there was a line waiting to be rung up. As I headed for the door, I turned and looked over my shoulder towards her.

“Thanks for the coffee, I owe you one.”

The workmen looked over at me. “OOOOH free coffee, aren’t we special. Hey, Cindy, who’s this guy anyway? Your new boyfriend?”

Another person was outside blocking the door and my exit. I just wanted out.

Cindy chided the man back. “Why not. He’s a heck of a lot better looking than any of you bozos.”

Suddenly the door opened. I was able to make my escape. I didn’t need a razzing from the workmen, so I didn’t hesitate getting into my car. I tried to exit, but a parked car was blocking the exit, forcing me to drive around the back of the building. Passing the red truck I’d seen earlier, I noticed it had several bumper stickers: “NBHA Member” and another- “New Hope Christian Center”. I drove about a mile and parked under a large oak to drink my coffee. I thought about the bumper sticker. ‘New Hope’. New hope is really why I came to Cardinal Meadows, wasn’t it? I needed to quit fighting it, but trusting God since I’d been kicked out of seminary years earlier was a hit and miss exercise. I knew it was on me, since I’d gotten used to blaming God for the incident. But shifting blame had always been a sort of bad habit with me. It was true. I’d gotten off course. Was it time to get back on track for good? It was a question, that for months now, had been getting harder and harder to ignore.